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Volume V · Issue 6 April 6, 2009

Wisdom Connoisseur™ Ezine

This free monthly online publication is your voice of clarity on weight loss

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dear friends

I came across a passage when I was reading the other day that really resonated with me “...the true teacher never controls anyone’s life in any way — instead, they merely explain how to advance consciousness.” — David R. Hawkins, Power vs. Force. This is the essence of Conscious Weight Loss™ and why this process is such a departure from what you’ve been conditioned to believe about weight loss.

My forte is taking people from being deeply resistant to fully voluntary alignment, with what they say they want in their life, by explaining how consciousness works. This is what it means to make the paradigm shift from control to choice. In principle, this is simple to do and easy to experience and I can generally give my clients a taste of this within a few sessions. In practice though, it can take months for them to unlearn old patterns of control and rewire a new way of being that embraces choice.

Why the gap? I believe that by virtue of being human, we all share a value of freedom. Those of us who treasure our freedom (which I’m thinking is about 99.9% of us), will bring inordinate resistance to anything that smacks of control, even if what we’re considering is in our best interests to comply. What’s interesting is the control doesn’t have to be real. It can just be perceived. What’s more, the control often isn’t even external. It’s the “must/should/have to” dialogue we have running in our minds.

Have you noticed that control is ingrained in the language and one of the primary tools of the weight loss industry? Little wonder the industry has such a poor track record. Any program that hauls out a calendar, a calculator and a meal plan to discuss your weight loss is expecting compliance and will trigger your controlling internal dialogue. Compliance, to the person who values freedom, is like selling your Soul. Even if you manage to do it for the short-term, you’ll eventually rebel and push back.

The great news? Your resistance is directly proportional to the bigger life that’s waiting for you. Think of it as your price of admission. That’s why I absolutely love working with resistant personalities — no matter how constrained your life may feel right now, the ripple you’re destined to make in this world is significant!

My feature article for this issue is the second in a series that maps out how change happens. There are many different aspects of your life that need to change to manifest weight loss. Each of these must go through the same steps but each has its own timeline. Perhaps just realizing this will invite more patience and compassion into your life.

With reverence,

kb signature

Coach Kath

Does this process sound both scary and exciting to you? That’s a clear indicator it may be exactly what you need at this time in your life. I’ve streamlined my Know Thyself foundation session to 3 hours. Even if this is all you choose to explore at this point, it can be a powerful step forward. And remember, it’s fully guaranteed. Check this page for all the details.

food for thought

How Change Happens: Part 2 The Change Continuum

How many frustrating moments have you had in your weight loss efforts, knowing you want something different… but not knowing what else to do? Or perhaps you know what to do… but you’re not doing it. Or maybe you’re doing it… but you keep reverting to old behaviours. All of these scenarios indicate you’re getting stuck somewhere along the change continuum. This article is the second in a series that maps out how change happens.

Self-Deception — Clarity — Intention — Action | Transcendence

This is what I call the change continuum. Imagine a slider bar moving back and forth between Self-Deception and Action in continuous — rather than discrete — steps, with Transcendence separate but not removed from this continuum. Notice there’s no maintenance or relapse mentioned (this is old paradigm language that only brings monotony or guilt with it). Notice too, I said the slider moves back and forth, meaning all movement along this continuum contributes to your growth. So, let’s take a closer look at what each of these steps encompasses.

Self-Deception

We all need to carry a functional image of ourselves, regardless what our reality may be. Self-Deception is the edited version of yourself that you buy into. At the low end, you’re “in the thick of it” — fully addicted to your struggle. You don’t know what you don’t know so your primary tools are blame and rationalization. But issues amplify over time and eventually you start bumping up against the inconvenient truths of your life — the ones that were unbearable to consider before. You come to realize you need to change but you don’t yet know how to get out of this fog. You begin to seek answers.

Clarity

Clarity is unambiguous awareness about what’s been, what is and what’s possible. At the low end, this awareness is still clouded by your own judgement so it can be difficult to release yourself from your past to entertain a new reality, let alone a different future for yourself. As this judgement softens though, there’s a willingness to go deeper and learn from your choices. You start connecting the dots between your choices and their impact on your quality of life. For every choice you own, you empower yourself for change.

Intention

This is a pivotal step, one that most people fail to recognize or try to skip. In broad terms, Intention is the purposeful manifestation of your vision. Your vision for change needs to be grounded in meaning. Without this connection, you will only change when motivated by pain (the low end), rather than being inspired by pleasure (the high end). This also means you will change “just enough” to escape pain temporarily but “never enough” to solidify pleasure long-term. In more specific terms, intentions are something you set and carry daily. Assigning meaning to them is central to honouring them.

Action

Action is the honouring of your daily intentions, either in full or in part. This step is about developing your capacity to change. At the low end, an “all or nothing” mentality may have you fixated on what’s faltering instead of acknowledging what’s working. Here’s the truth of it — there are many different aspects of your life that need to change to manifest weight loss. Each of these is at a different point on the change continuum. That suggests, at any given time, some aspect of your weight loss efforts will be faltering, and that’s OK. Continue to practice what’s working and use the continuum to go back and pick up what you need on other fronts.

[ third ]

Transcendence

There comes a point, after much practice, where you’ll feel a palpable, positive shift… the fight has left your body. This is Transcendence. It’s characterized by calm energy, relaxed effort and predictable outcomes. It exists apart from the undercurrent of resistance you’ll experience with the rest of the change continuum and as such, is not subject to the same limitations. It’s natural not perfect. It’s not that you’ll never have another setback. It just won’t feel real to you anymore and you’re not likely to wallow in it. You’ll simply step out of it and carry on.

Hint: you will think you have arrived at Transcendence far sooner than you actually do, so don’t get discouraged. Trust that every movement along the continuum matters to your growth… and enjoy the ride!

Exquisite Chocolate

Action Item

Summary

  • The change continuum. Notice there’s no maintenance or relapse mentioned.
  • Self-Deception. You come to realize you need to change but you don’t yet know how to get out of this fog.
  • Clarity. For every choice you own, you empower yourself for change.
  • Intention. Your vision for change needs to be grounded in meaning.
  • Action. This step is about developing your capacity to change.
  • Transcendence. It’s natural not perfect.
  • Trust that every movement along the continuum matters to your growth… and enjoy the ride!

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