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Volume V · Issue 8 May 4, 2009

Wisdom Connoisseur™ Ezine

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I’m a firm believer that life works best when we focus our energy on preparing ourselves for the changes we’re asking for in our lives, instead of obsessing over when or how we think these changes should show up. This is what I mean when I talk about doing things on your own terms and in your own time; it’s not how strongly you dictate what you want, it’s how well you learn to align with it.

The universe has its own timing regarding anything you’re asking for and it’s always different than what you’ve decided. If your weight loss is taking much longer than you anticipated, this delay is there to give you time to find your peace with the things you feel urgency for around this. If your weight loss is coming more quickly than you imagined, this acceleration is indicating you’re more capable than you’re acknowledging. In both cases, there are important life skills to be developed.

A sense of urgency or impatience means you’re rejecting “what is”. This may be the current state of your body, your circumstances, your choices — you name it — but until you find your peace with it first, your urgency or impatience will actually push your timeline out even further. You may have noticed the universe doesn’t favour shortcuts. Anytime you attempt a quick fix to circumvent this, you’ll always be brought back to where you left off, to do this growth work. What IS showing up is the very thing you need to be with and learn from to move forward.

The universe favours speed. What makes this markedly different than shortcuts is being in alignment. When you’re no longer fighting your own growth process, what you want shows up faster and in ways you didn’t and couldn’t possibly have imagined. I like to say be careful what you ask for… the universe has a sense of humour! Sometimes what shows up will require more than you think you can handle, more than you think you’re ready for. But the universe knows full well what you’re capable of. Your growth work is to fully acknowledge the choices you’ve made to get here and to trust there’s a bigger picture than what you may be able to see right now.

Conscious Weight Loss™ is groundbreaking in that it teaches you how to live a bigger life in a smaller body but then it also prepares you every step of the way. Even now as I deepen this process for myself, I’m continually humbled by the life lessons I encounter but always excited about the person I’m becoming.

My feature article for this issue is the fourth and final in a series that maps out how change happens. True change is the cumulative effect of your choices over time that builds character and feels seamless. In the drive to lose a pound or two, this can be quickly forgotten. So here’s a gentle reminder that our progress and practice are multi-faceted and can’t be measured by the bathroom scale.

With reverence,

kb signature

Coach Kath

Health and Wellness Practitioners: If you find this ezine reflects and/or supports your views about weight loss, you’re invited to submit your business card artwork and receive a free listing in the new Wellness Entourage section. If you have a website, I’ll make sure visitors can click through to get more information about you.

Send your submissions to WCezine@consciousweightloss.com.

How Change Happens: Part 4 The Litmus Test

How do you gauge if change is actually taking place in your life? If you’re fixated on the end result of weight loss, chances are you’re trying to control or force your way to an outcome. This is not change. True change has no sense of urgency, competition or any other artificial impetus. It’s the cumulative effect of your choices over time that builds character and feels seamless when you look back over your choices. This article is the fourth and final in a series that maps out how change happens.

Progress indicates change

Inherent to change is a sense of progress and this will be most apparent in how flexible and adaptable you are in your growth process. Flexibility is being pliable in your perceptions and approach. Adaptability is being able to recognize and adjust to new conditions. Hint: perfectionism limits both of these.

You develop flexibility through a continuous cycle of learning, action and evaluation. Many people mistakenly think that learning new information equates to growth. This only equates to a shelf full of self-help books. You need to apply what you’re learning by taking action in your life. In so doing, you’ll find some of your efforts work and some of them don’t. If you’re fixated on results, you’ll keep tightening your control, repeating the same action and expecting different results. This is a common trap people fall into so it’s important to pause and evaluate your outcomes (your real growth) each time. Evaluation creates an iterative process, where your output becomes your new input, so even the slightest shifts can give you a sense of progress and eventually produce significant change.

Adaptability evolves from an on-going cycle of witnessing, differentiating and integrating. Witnessing means noticing the choices you’re making but not layering them with judgement. Differentiating involves consciously registering the contrasts between your choices. Integrating is about combining those choices you want into your sense of self. Collectively, these are the most challenging aspects of change because even as you’re trying to solidify new habits, the infinite variables of your life are always changing. If you’re trying to control or force an outcome, you will seriously underestimate how long this deepening process really takes. It’s true you can establish a new habit in about 3 weeks but choosing this new habit with consistency over time requires far more practice — at least 6 months and sometimes years, in fact!

Practice makes progress

Practice is in the doing. Doing is what creates experiences. And the quality of your experiences contributes to your progress. For example, intellectualizing keeps you in the realm of theory, where you never actually experience what your choices feel like; attaining keeps you focused on what’s next, where you’re always limiting or foregoing your experience in the moment.

Valuing what your choices feel like in the moment is the qualitative difference between an ignorant or elegant simplicity in your efforts; it’s the difference between a gross or subtle understanding of change. When you value your experiences in this way, you’ll have greater trust in your essential nature, allowing you to take your practice in any direction. Two steps forward and one step back will no longer deter you because you’ll realize that all of your experiences are informing your efforts and understanding.

As you’re accumulating these experiences, it’s necessary to test what you’re being modelled and taught by others. You need some form of teaching to be able to study yourself but always remember that teaching can only offer clarity and explanation. You are the expert in your life and only you can decide what you want to incorporate into your own growth process. Truth be told, that’s all resistance really is — an indicator that you haven’t found a way to make something your own yet.

We acquire new information long before we practice it or own it so be kind with yourself. We respond best when change is incorporated gradually and incrementally, even imperceptibly, where it simply becomes the current expression of who we are. When you’re able to refer back to an earlier time and memory of yourself as the “old me” — not because your body looks different but because you’ve become a wiser, gentler version of yourself — that’s when you can be confident change has truly taken place.

Exquisite Chocolate

Action Item

Summary

True change has no sense of urgency, competition or any other artificial impetus.
Inherent to change is a sense of progress and this will be most apparent in how flexible and adaptable you are.
You develop flexibility through a continuous cycle of learning, action and evaluation.
Adaptability evolves from an on-going cycle of witnessing, differentiating and integrating.
The quality of your experiences contributes to your progress.
Valuing what your choices feel like in the moment is the qualitative difference between a gross or subtle understanding of change.
It’s necessary to test what you’re being modelled and taught by others.
We respond best when change is incorporated gradually and incrementally, where it simply becomes the current expression of who we are.

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